Sermon for August 21, 2011 - Should

The scripture reading for this sermon was Romans 12:1-8

In the back of one of my bibles, there is a section that describes which passages to look up in certain life situations.  So for example, passages to read when you’re in a position of responsibility, or if you’re quarrelling with somebody.  I remember going through a rough period of discernment, trying to figure out where I should go in life.  So under the section “When you are seeking guidance from God” it gave this passage from Romans.  “Therefore I urge you, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship”.  When I read that, I closed my eyes, and I thought, “Isn’t that wonderful.”  And then I thought, “What the hell does that mean?!”  I mean really Paul?  Give myself to God?  I didn’t see that coming a mile away! Jack Ass!

I’d like everyone to close their eyes.  Take a breath in, exhale… Take another breath and focus on how cold the air is in the nostrils or mouth, and when you exhale focus on how warm the air coming from your lungs is. Do this a couple more times… Now I want you to picture yourself surrounded by fog.  You can only see a few feet in front of you before it gets too thick… Feel the cool mist on your face… Smell the fog with each breath, taste it… The air is cool, and the tiny particles of water deaden all noise… Just experience that for a minute… Ok, open your eyes.

I’ve been meditating with my therapist on this image a lot recently, seeing fog as a metaphor for life.  Picturing myself in the midst of a thick fog, holding onto that experience as I reflect on my own life. 

You see for the past little while I’ve really been really struggling with trying to figure out who I am, where I am going.  At times it occupies my mind to the point of great stress and anxiety.  It is the existential question that resonates at the core of humanity.  In the midst of the fog of life, the question that resonates (for me anyways) is, where does God want me to go?  Where should I go?

This is a question that I think pops up in all our lives in some form or another.  I remember in undergrad trying to determine what my major should be.  Or when I was picking theological colleges, “Which school should I goto?”  But all of us have confronted this question and will confront it many times over.  If we’re contemplating a move, should I move or should I not?  Or perhaps a job opportunity, should I or shouldn’t I?  Even in religion, “What should I believe?”  Does anyone else ever ask questions like this?  Or am I alone in it?  What is the common thread running through all these questions?

Should.  This is the word that runs throughout it all.  Should.  It’s a word that slips into our language so easily and so readily.  Should.  How should I act?  What sort of job should I get?  Where should I live?  And it is such a heavy word, one that ways on our hearts and on our minds.  It dictates an endpoint that we hold ourselves up against, a word that condemns and judges.  It is a very human word.

The reason Paul does not offer much help in the question of where should I go through the fog, is because for him the word “should” is irrelevant.  In Christ there is no should.  As the passage goes on he expands on this, “some people will be teachers, some people will be prophets, some people will govern, and some people will be charitable.”  None of these people are more right than any of the others.  None of these people are more valuable than any of the others.

As we walk through the fog it does not matter what direction we walk in, it only matters how we walk.  With each step do we hold God in our hearts?  With each step are we saying “God, this step is for you” or “This step is so I can make money.”  With each step can we say, “This step is embodying Christ right here and now” or “This step is so that everyone will think I’m fantastic”?  Now discerning our own wants and desires from putting God in front is tricky.  But our own desires and the love of God don’t need to be mutually exclusive either.  What we need to bear in mind is that in God’s eyes it does not matter where we end up, so long as we make that choice holding God in our sights.  We can always ask ourselves, in this time, in this place, how can I be loving God?

And yes, sometimes we will walk into a tree, we will get our feet wet, and tragically, we might even fall off of a cliff.  Sometimes we will stumble upon great joys, or come to a place that is much clearer, where we can see a bit further ahead.  That’s life walking through the fog.  But we don’t encounter God in our destinations, we encounter God in our steps.  And believe me, this is far more marvelous.  If God were only at the destination it would be a lonely walk, especially when we whack our head off a tree branch, or if we don’t make it to the “right” place.  But if God is in our very steps, if God is in the very fog around us, if God is right here, right now, then God is with us, even when we do walk off a cliff.

When Paul says make yourself a living sacrifice to God, he is talking about right here.  He’s not making a prescription to find God at some far away destination, some place that we should go to; he is making it clear that God is present here and now.  Thanks be to God, Amen.